Real Me

Show me the meaning of my life
Trying to fix my broken heart
Accepting is the only way out
To escape from this cruel world
All I give is love, respect and loyalty
What I get is lust, curse and hatred

Real me… told me
There’s no one to listen to your voice
Real me..told me
Stay calm and dont voice out too loud

You digged your own graveyard- told the Real Me
I need a pacifier to calm myself
You are out of love fuel- told the Real Me
Can I get a refill? yes refill
Its not painful even when I cut myself
But more racking when left unseen

Every night I drench my pillow with tears
Pray on my knees begging for happiness
Would I ever have a choice after my death, atleast
Hell or heaven, may be hell, cuz am used to it

Pandemic Mental Disorder

Hi all, its been a very long time since i have posted a blog. Firstly, how have you been? I hope all are safe and healthy. Make sure to wear a mask while going out. Recently, in this pandemic I have been locked up in my house thinking a lot, like all the unnecessary thoughts were lingering over my mind that I couldn’t wash off.

I had all my school days memories, my friends, teachers, my old house and so on. I didn’t know what to do next in my life or what am I doing right now. I took a pen and paper and wrote down these as i was so much frustrated.

I would like to share a small happening I have gone through long back. Everybody in this world might have felt nerve-wracking going to school (even kids today), but the reason for it, we don’t know exactly. We say plenty of reasons to neglect going to that place:

The teacher always scolds/beats me,

My friends make fun of me,

I hate the bus driver,

I hate exams, etc…

But one day I heard a mother asking his son for not going to school. He was a very small boy of seventh grade. His answer made me spellbound, “I hate my stomach more than that school.”, he said. His mom asked why. He said, “Yes. If there is no stomach, we don’t feel hungry; if there is no hunger, we don’t need food; if there is no food, we don’t need money. And if there is no money we don’t have to face all these craps.”

These words from a small boy!! I got Goosebumps all over😲. Later I realized is that (food) what we actually need? May be that’s the major point. But apart from that there are so many, isn’t it. That’s what everybody thinks after reading this. But the present situation now, in this LOCKDOWN/Quarantine or when we meet any disaster, our first preference is Food. During lockdown we run for getting all the provisional items first rather than other luxury products (gold, AC, fridge, furniture, etc). No matter whether we get attacked by Corona, we risk our life buying necessities or going to office even at this serious condition. How painful it is to survive in this world 😣.

Everybody in this world go work in an organisation sitting in front of a computer and get paid for it. We learn coding, testing, and other extra courses, dump too much into our head, get pressurized, only to improve our technology? 😒 There is a platform to develop our own app which even a small 10 year old kid could create one. But what is the use in it. Without technology we can survive, but without food can we? An alarm at your stomach rings on time, “I am hungry😈”. Have you ever noticed one thing about us… we can sleep without a pillow, fan/AC, a house whatever. But you can never fall asleep when you are in an empty stomach.

We people are well skilled person to earn money, even unskilled has some job to get money. Most of our dreams is to get our own property, just to build a house. But, nobody go for farming, no body are agriculture graduates (only 10%). How many of us grow edible plant in our home🤷🏻‍♀️. Many of us are gardeners of course I accept. But those are only to make the place look beautiful not to fill our stomach. We may eat rich fruits and veggies but that rich is the money 😆which we spend for it and not the value. I am not blaming anyone here. Even I go to office work for the company. We all have personal reasons. Atleast we can take a step to give a solution for this. Each one of us can grow our own plant. It not only makes our place beautiful even our health too.

Most of our aim is to own a land ourselves to build our dream house but nobody thinks of owning our dream farmland. That is life it’s not our fault. We are being like that habitually. Our hope, our desire, our passion everything got ruined by this single creepy thing, sitting alone and making me to think wildly like this 🙄. Everybody might have thought that this year would be a good start for everyone. But it turned over the whole world upside-down. Now we are a caged bird looking at other animals moving happily. May be this is called karma. I hope everything get backs to normal soon.

I started over something and ended up somewhere 😆. I think I’ve lost my mind. I’ll try to write a better one next time for sure. Please all of you stay healthy and happy💪🏻😐. Thanks for spending your time reading my post. Take care!!

Strive for Life

Hi everybody, this blog is for the people who find their most difficult situation in their life (those who take a wrong decision). Hope you guys like it.

Imagine that you’re locked up in a room full of darkness. Your hands and legs are tied up. You find it difficult to breath. You’re crying out loud to ask somebody for help, but there’s nobody around. Your eyes wobbling all around to get rid of this place or get something that brightens the room, but nothing is visible. What will you do? How will you escape from there? Who is the reason for this?

It is you. Yes you!! You are the reason who has put yourself in this horrible state. Because you lack in confidence, you don’t have the guts to face the challenge. All because of your negative thoughts, the fear in you and the shitty mind which made you put like this. Some feel like what if that bad thing happens again, but there are only few who will try it again. Just break out that evil thingy inside you. There’s no need of scissors or knife to cut the rope in your hand, your teeth is much enough to untie it. You’ll find it hard and crazy to do, but only thing you’ll have in your mind is to escape from that room. Now that room is which I say, is your destiny, and the darkness is your fear. Finally that rope are the people who indulges you. Find out the best way which enlightens you. C’mon no matter how you have been before, throw away all those stuff back out there. It’s time not to end up your life, but to be REBORN.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!

Liebster Blogger Award #1

Hi bloggers, I am so much excited that I have been nominated for a LIEBSTER AWARD from Parth (https://poetry.p2.blog) and Ranjini (https://httpranjustraveldiaries.travel.blog). I couldn’t express how much happy I am. It has been only a few months since I started this journey. At first, I didn’t think that I could write something like this. I have never heard the word blog before. I didn’t know what that ever mean🤷. I neither had a habit of writing nor reading and I am not into any of the Social Medias. So I was totally nervous to get underway.

One of my friend Sandhyajosephine(she’s a blogger too (https://betweenthestartandtheend.wordpress.com/)), she initiated me to start something like this which was totally new to me and she is the one who encouraged me to post my blog in WordPress. I was totally hopeless and with full hesitancy I started this because I had a fear in me that “what if someone would laugh at me or what if I made some mistake in the content or what if nobody likes my penning.” There were so many questions in me. So, finally one day I decided, I took it as a challenge to myself. I started writing…, I never got a single word to start with. Then I took few breaths and expressed all my thoughts into words. I shared the content to my dearest friends, everybody liked it. I felt cheerful after hearing their comments. This is how I published my very first blog Aura of Happiness which is my favourite one. My friends helped me so much to start with it and I got so many views and comments in my first blog itself. I thank each and everybody who are supporting me and making me to step forward to bring out more like this🤗. I never expected that I would get these many positive responses. Thank you guys.

Parth:

He writes so many inspirational and motivational thoughts which I find so much related to me, personally. Whenever I feel down his blog would encourage me to throw away all the weird stuffs. He has a speciality in giving a final touch to his blog before the thanking notes below the page. I love that piece. I thank you so much for nominating me in such a short time. Looking forward to read more of your penning. All the best Parth🙂👍🏻

Ranjini:

She is one of the best travel blogger. She has published more than 250 blog posts. She is so religious and she used to give lot of information about the temples she visits. She even writes few inspiring short stories with twists and turns. On the whole she’s a truly saintly women. My very best wishes to you Ranjini 🙂👍🏻

RULES:

Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide link to their blog.
Answer their questions
Nominate 10 bloggers, I will nominate 8.
Ask your nominees 10 questions, I will ask 6.
Notify the nominees about the nomination.
List the rules and display the award logo.

Parth’s questions to me:

1. Describe yourself

I am basically an introvert. But once I start to mingle with someone I never shut my mouth. I love sharing my thoughts to my loved ones. I encompass everyone always with happiness at the maximum. I never care how others estimate me and that is why I kept my site name as “I am what I am”. There is a lot to say about me, but I don’t wanna make it long.

2. What are your hobbies?

Well! My hobbies are sketching, crafting, I always try to make something new and innovative (in cooking or stitching clothes, anything). I love watching animated movies and listening songs. I try to learn new languages.

3. Why you started blogging?

I think I have answered to this question above.

4. Any memorable moment/incidence….

There are many… but recently a blogger named Lance Sheridan (An Internationally Published Poet (https://lancesheridan.com)), he read all of my blogs and gave comments to each one of it. He appreciated and encouraged me so much for my writings. It is great to hear something like this from such a famed person, as a budding blogger.

5. What good lesson you learned from your parents?

How to be independent…, stay bold stay strong…, to be kind and caring.

6. If you have 2 tickets of World Tour, with whom you want to go?

I would love to go with my best buddy (childhood friend), because I have never gone out with her even once. Exploring the world with a friend would be the most interesting and everlasting experience.

7. What you think /observe about other people when you meet someone first time?

I feel shilly-shally when I meet someone new, my mind will be blank and I will have no idea how to start with but somehow I will manage. I don’t have a habit of judging anybody. But once I get close with them I’ll be loyal and pure.

8. Enlist your like and dislike.

I think I have said many about my likes. My dislikes are: I hate people who forces me to do something, insulting and fake ones. I hate when my place is untidy, it should be always clean and perfect.

9. What type of food you like?

My favourite is ice-cream (I eat it even if I suffer from fever, I get cured) and gulab-jamun. I love sweets.

10. Something you want to share everyone…

Whatever happens in your life don’t lose hope, everything is for the sake of good. Fight for it!!! Don’t lean when someone stabs at your back, show them how powerful you are.

Ranjini’s questions to me:

1. What inspired you to begin blogging?

My friends

2. Which weakness would you like to overcome?

Hesitation- I step forward only if someone pushes me from back.

Trust- I trust people very easily without analysing them properly.

3. Describe your key strength.

My smile, the way I give importance to everyone, honesty.

4. What is your favourite movie?

All animated movies, I love cartoons (that’s why few call me babyish).

5. Which country you belong to?

India.

6. Share a bit about yourself?

I think I have said enough about me in the above lines.

7. Which country you would like to travel to?

Canada, Oman, Switzerland

8. What is my profession?

I work in a private company as soon as I completed my B.Tech, but I wanna become an entrepreneur.

9. Tell me about your ambition.

To travel all over the world.
To be a good dancer and to kick off all my shyness or hesitancy
The best artist.

10. What is your favourite colour?

Red, Blue, Pink, Black

I nominate the below mentioned bloggers who vent out their thoughts into a beautiful posts which are close to my heart.

*>Sanshyajosephine

*>Parth

*>AmyRose

*>The Freethinker

*>IkwakwalaPoetry

*>Jalpa

*>Shadawss

*>Ranjini Madhavan

My questions to all of my nominees:

1. If God appears in front of you and asks “what you want?”, what will be your first wish?

2. How will you manage your toughest time or when you get hurt? Share one of them…

3. What do you do when it’s raining or snowing?

4. Select one of the below option and tell me why or how you feel

To take a drive in a pleasant and peaceful atmosphere
Listening to your favourite music in a seashore (in evening time)
To eat a plate full of your favourite food

5. Which of the following is the best part of your life?

Being a child (school days)
Being a teenager (college days)
Being an adult (working)

6. Share one of your mischievous activity where you got caught?

I am eagerly waiting to read all of your answers and let me know how was your experience to all the above written jottings in the comments section.😍

Once again thank you dear readers for spending your time to read this post.🥰

LONELINESS

You’re going to fall in love with yourself all over once read this! You’ll see how it’s so much better to be single and able to spend your time with someone you love (yourself) than to get fazed along with a partner(a known person) who fills you with worries or insecurity. Being lonely is such a lovely feeling where you have freedom to do all that you want. You can cook your favourite food, you can dress as you like, sing, dance, shout, roam all over your houselike a crazy frog, make your room clean or untidy, etc…. There’s no one to stop you or insist you to do something. It feels so much annoying when someone resist you while you’re on your own, isn’t it?

But there are few who feels like you are separated from the whole world, being sad, tears streaming down (feeling that you have nobody, am all alone), there’s none to consider me, blah blah blah.

Have you ever thought of an Owl, why does it prefer to be solo? It enjoys itself being alone sitting on a small branch of a tree looking at the bright moon which is the only light which brighten its world.

You know what, the mistake is in you. It’s the mind which fixes you being melancholy or being joyous. So don’t feel that there’s nobody for you, you are yourself a great companion. Loneliness is the gift which god gives to spend time with yourself all alone…ONLY YOU! Utilize it and don’t get vexed or pissed off thinking all those horrifying stuffs making you sick. Feel like a bird, fly over, that pleasant moment will never get erased out of your mind.

I wish i was a boy!!!

What if i was born as a boy🤔
*I may roam out at any time as i want, fully secure.
*I could sit doing nothing when I am at home idling away my time and have my stomach full always.
*I could laugh out louder or talk as i like, having fun with everyone (even strangers).
*I could wear my own style of dress, no matter how short or long it is.
*I could have my own hairstyle.
*I would face any difficult or any of the awkward situation with courage, because if a boy is affected only he will be responsible but incase of a girl the whole family will take the responsibilities.
*I don’t have to pay dowry for my marriage.
*I don’t have to segregate from my family after marriage.
*I would be the head of the family and have my name in my child’s surname.
*I won’t be called as a bitch if i become a widow and get married to another guy.
*No matter how successful you go in your career, no matter how much you earn. You’ll atlast be a house maker.
*I’ll have my own rules and regulations.

There are lot more to say. Am sure that every girl might have this thought atleast once in their life time. I didn’t say that boys don’t face any problem, ofcourse they do have so many responsibilities and difficulties in life. But at sometimes i feel like that. There are lot of restrictions which undergo even for a silly thing. Many times i feel the pain in my veins and my heart sinks into the darkest hour.

If i was a boy, i would pave my own path and not the road the society forces me to go.

Satisfaction in Life

Hey guys!! I’ve got a question to ask you. Have you ever been satisfied in your life so far? I guess none. Will you be, when you get well settled with good income… or after getting married to a high sophisticated guy… or after buying all the luxurious stuffs…. Etc etc., Actually the truth is that we never get our souls satisfied. I guarantee a 100%. Let me tell you an example, When we get a new mobile, we get accessories for it, after all that we get bored to look at the same stuff, we again look for the update and a new launch with better features. Incase if we buy a house for living, we’ll be seeking all the nook and corners until we find a suitable amd best one. Later we’ll invite our friends for a housewarming ceremony. And you know what when you visit your close one’s house better than yours, you’ll try to change the interiors of your house to look it more better than theirs. This is what happens everywhere, everytime, and in everything which we own. There’s no satisfactory level until we end up our life. Our mind will always have a thought that “what if i had that, what if i go there, what if i enjoy like them???” Plenty more… No matter how higher our contentment goes, we again fall back to the initial level.

Everything what happens in our life and whatever is gonna happen are uncertain. and obviously the end result is, we live with what we have😄. So guys, accept whatever comes to you, live the way you are. And don’t try to replicate other’s living. You may feel happy at the beginning, but for sure you’ll be searching for the other one. So wait until your time comes. One day you’ll shine brightly not as anyone else “but as you”.😉

Blooming Memories

Life is too hectic!!! So many bizarre situations, so many ups and downs and wacky moments. For all these there is only one question,”How am I gonna solve this?”. The answer is NOTHING, but there’s ought to be something!! All we gotta do is better to accept and move on rather than finding a solution. Whatever circumstances comes to you, you’ve to be ready and bold enough to face it. Take it as a challenge reminiscing all the lessons that you’ve gone through the subject called “Memories”. I went across few of my friends, what they really feel inside them about memories. These are the beautiful lies said by my best friend, “When you here a song and miss something… And think what if i had this for 2 mins, just 2 mins right now… Well! That’s never gonna happen… Suddenly you can feel, you get to smell and hear your most favourite sound in your mind, those moments stay not only as memories but as poems of our life…just feel it!!”.

Most of us get exhilarated while we think about our childhood memories. Those are the best of our lifetime, we love them and we still regret those days. There might be a lot of memories that makes you smile mindlessly when you think about it. Nevertheless, there are also few which screws up your mind completely. Good memories are valuable like a treasure, but bad memories are meant to be in a trash can. Life is like a video game, once you win you move to the next hardest level, but if you lose…Game Over!!. The game gets over only for the cowards or those who plays it in a wrong way. Do you find really hard to erase something that badly affects you or tears you apart when you get those past weird thoughts? Now come on take a piece of paper and write down that you wanna wipe out from your head. Burn up that paper and Flush it off along with your hard feelings that you had before. You’ll feel cosy after that. There is a proverb saying “Every cloud has a silver lining”, likewise all the bad ones has a good reason behind it. Past is past, nothing is gonna come back if you feel for it. One Life One Time!! So don’t dump too much into your head thinking all about what has happened and hope the best for what is gonna happen. There’s definitely a changeover waiting for you at your doorstep. Hope all your memories bloom into a lovely flower. 🙂

Continue reading →

Aura of Happiness

Every human has a habit of talking to their own soul. Likewise I too had a small conversation with my soul. I thought of why don’t I share this with you guys. First thing that got striked in my mind was, “What are you gonna do in your life to make yourself happy?” Because each and every single person are running after their life fully dependent on money rather than hapiness. Earlier days food was life, later shelter was the one, but now no man can live without a single note of money. We even pay for a life to be born and to get buried under the earth after death. Money is obviously an important thing but it is not life. Everybody are rushing into their lives, chasing, smashing etc., Nobody feels the fresh air outside, we don’t even have time to take a deep breath. Oh My God!!! what a stressful life?! I mean whats your goal dude? Eh?? What are you gonna do for yourself? Just of earning money and get settled, married and giving birth and let them also get married and so on… Is that all? Is that all your life? Where are “YOU” in this and how would you define yourself personally? All of us for sure will have a passion from our childhood. We would be going around all the creepy shits and roaming around happily no matter what is gonna happen next. Many of them, either me have no idea on what I really want to do or what is my goal. Have a break, atleast spend a minimum of 2 hours only for you… just you. If you really wanna listen to your heart and curious to know what you really want, TRY THIS. Get seated in a peaceful environment and grab your voice recorder. Click on the record button and take a deep breath closing your eyes. Be quite and just blank out everything thats going on your mind. After 10 seconds, start over talking deep from the heart. You may struggle to start up but once you get started your thoughts will flow as a river. After you’ve spoken out all that you wanted to, get your eyes opened and have some water. Now again, listen to the voice that you’ve spoken all about. You will feel the real you. The imagination that you got in that moment will never fade away through out your life. This may seem a kind of little stupidity but I am damn sure you’ll get emotionally touched and definitely go for it. Because that was truly and honestly spoken by you. There is no one to stop your desire, only thing you’ve to do is move on. Anyone can become anything only if you have a strong belief and a clear thought in you. Make that moment come true and you’ll be the happiest person in the world. May all your dreams come true and have a peaceful life. 🙂

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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